Season 2
Deathbowl '99Dolly Parton vs. Jennifer LopezNote that this fight was guest commentated by dr. Ruth. Dolly has two huge breasts, Jennifer has one huge ass... they were both equipped with enchancements that enabled them to enlarge their breasts/ass. After some fighting, Dolly uses her giantic breasts to pin Jennifer in a corner, however Jennifer pushes the enlarging button so Dolly's breasts keeps getting bigger... until she starts floating in mid-air... Jennifer uses her ass enlarger and knocks Dolly out through the roof, up into space where she explodes. Madonna vs. Michael Jackson Just after the first fight, Madonna was meant to have a halftime show, but Michael interrupted it, after some punches, Mills stepped in and they decided to fight after the break. The danger with this was was that outside of the ring was pool of acid... After a while, Michael used some moonwalk magic to morph himself... into a hamster, he didnt realize his mistake and Madonna kicks the hamster into the acid, and it dissolves. Mike Tyson vs. Evander Holyfield Mike Tyson fights like a wuss in this one, he tricks Holyfield several times, and they take the fight out to the streets, finally on top of a building, and Holyfield accidently falls down... he lands on a demolition switch, which blows up the whole building, and Tyson dies.
The Battle of Boys With ToysIce Cube vs. Ice-TIce Cube and Ice-T fought on ice. First Ice Cube falls through the ice and freezes into an ice cube, then he is lifted out of the arena. Ice-T is declared the winner, but then Vanilla Ice appears and drives into the ring with the zamboni, crushing Ice-T, however the blow caused the ice cube with Ice Cube inside to fall down and crush Vanilla Ice, and it splits up, Ice Cube jumps out and he is declared as the winner. Robert DeNiro vs. Al Pacino Guest referee: Marlon Brando DeNiro and Pacino fights for a while, they have to use characters from their movies. DeNiro grabs Brando's little green friend from "The island of dr. Moreau", and uses him to smash Pacino's head into pieces. Backstreet Boys vs. Beastie Boys The Backstreet Boys and the Beastie Boys each fought in two fighing machines, the Backstreet Boys master their robot, but the Beastie Boys just play around, after a while they push a button which fires a laser into the Backstreet bot, killing Howie D. Later, the Beasties' grabs Marlon Brando and jams him into the exhaust pipe of the Backstreet robot, Marlon farts and the Backstreet Boys gets dizzy... Then the Beasties' launches a missile into the Backstreet robot, it hits and kills the Backstreet Boys.
Magic, Flashbacks and PregnanciesCalista Flockhart vs. Lucy LawlessFirst, Lucy really kicks ass with Calista, until she has a daydream, and suddenly recovers and starts kicking ass. However by the end of the fight, Calista jumps the ropes to try and attack Lucy, who bends over so Calista gets stuck in her ass... Lucy climbs the ropes and jumps down, completely trapping Calista inside her body. After the third fight, Lucy "gave birth" to Calista. Boy George vs. Don Johnson During the Beastie Boys vs Backstreet Boys fight, a missile blew up a part of the arena, they found a time capsule from the 80's there, and it contained some stuff, there amongst a tape containing this fight. This fight was refereed by president Reagan He wasnt so very smart and thought that Don Johnson was mean since he "hit that lady" (Boy George) so Reagan steps in and crushes Johnson's head. Next the Ayatollah entered the ring, but Reagan used the "Star Wars" defense system to vaporize the Ayatollah, and leave the arena with Boy George. Penn & Teller vs. Siegfried & Roy Penn uses Teller as a missile and fires him towards Siegfried, blowing him up. Then Roy makes a tiger appear, and it jumps towards Penn and Teller. Penn holds Teller as a shield, but Teller disagrees, brings up a steak, and jams it down Penn's pants, and the tiger rips him into pieces. The fight ended that way. So... Teller and Roy are the winners.
The Time MachineJennifer Aniston vs. Courteney Cox vs. Lisa KudrowThe three girls fight for a while, but then their co-stars from friends - Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer appears, Matt and Matthew didnt care whether the girls fought or not, but David wanted to stop the fight... Matthew pulls a lever on David's chair, which launched him into the arena, colliding with the walls, and they collapse (they fought in a model of a sitcom set) and crushes the girls. Sean Connery vs. Roger Moore Roger Moore talks to the cave woman who appeared from the time machine, and they trade items... Moore gets a big rock from the woman, and he drops it onto Connery, killing him. Gandhi vs. Genghis Khan These guys' personalities were switched by the time machine so Gandhi got very fiery while Genghis Kahn became very calm. The fight ended when Gandhi lifted the entire arena, pushed Genghis beneath, and dropped the arena down, crushing Genghis Kahn's head.
The Unknown MurdererMoses vs. PharaohNicky wants to hear a bedtime story, and Nick reads a "bible" story, when Moses fought the Pharaoh. The fight ended with the Pharoah dropping a small pyramid onto Moses, but Nicky jr. complains and says that Moses actually beat the Pharaoh... so Nick changes the story... Harrison Ford actually appeared and kicked the Pharaoh's ass, finally Ford led Moses' people out of Egypt. Larry King vs. Geraldo Rivera This fight had people calling in and telling the fighters what to do. Finally a woman calls and tells Geraldo to unexpectedly drop a desk onto Larry King, he does, and Geraldo Rivera is the Winner! Neve Campbell vs. Sarah Michelle Gellar After a while, the murderer that killed people in the arena calls again, Nick re-dials the number, and a cellphone is heard, on the Platypus, and Sarah and Neve decides to beat it up. They find out that it's actually a real platypus, then the murderer calls again, and tells everyone that he was too clever, so that cant find him, and the fight ends so.
Celebrity Deathmatch InternacionalPaul Hogan vs. Mel GibsonThe first fight takes place in Sydney/Australia. Paul Hogan throws his boomerang, and it cuts off half of Mel Gibson's face. His makeup team re-arrange him, and he is now dressed like his character in Braveheart (blue and red face etc), then he impales Hogan on something (i think it was the turnbuckle, or a spear, i'd look it up), and burns him on a barbecue next to the ring. Antonio Banderas vs. Cheech Marin The second fight takes place in Havanna/Cuba, guest referee Fidel Castro. Cheech and Fidel starts smoking tobacco, and in the smoke cloud, Banderas slices up Fidel... this freaks Cheech out and he ties Banderas up and plays piņata with him, with a final blow, Cheech smashes Banderas' chest open. Fabio vs. Bono vs. Yoko Ono The third fight takes place in Hague/The Netherlands Fabio hypnotizes Yoko, and she smashes Bono's head in with her statue. Then Fabio seduces Yoko, and they get together in a coach, Yoko snaps out of it and rips Fabio's wig off, as well as his fake chest. Then Fabio pushes Yoko back into the coach, and folds it in, crushing Yoko.
The End of the Real WorldKate Moss vs. Claudia Schiffer vs. Tyra BanksThe three girls dressed up in various clothing, the celebrity deathmatch spring collection. The fight ended with the girls tearing each other into pieces. William Shakespeare vs. Busta Rhymes Shakespeare removes his codpiece, which turns out to be a crossbow, and he starts firing at Busta, who avoids the first arrows... but when Shakespeare turns the crossbow to an automatic... Busta runs for cover.. in the time machine, and another arrow from Shakespeare's crossbow starts the time machine, and Busta Rhymes is sent into the 16th century. The Real World's: Puck vs. Jon vs. Tami vs. Jacinda First Jon and Tami kicks Jacinda to death, then Puck enters the arena on a motorcycle and lands on Tami's head, crushing it. Then he tries to attack Jon, but Jon throws a pool cue into the motorcycle's wheel, and Puck is sent flying into the aquarium, which has piranhas in it, his head is devoured. Jon is the winner!
Celebrity Deathmatch - The Motion PictureThis episode is called 'Celebrity Deathmatch: The Movie'! It features fights that are about the elements of movies.Martin Scorsese vs. Oliver Stone First off, Martin Scorsese and Oliver Stone are both movie directors, both known for their different styles of movies. Both fighters ends up dead: First, Oliver Stone decapitates Martin Scorsese with a clipboard, but then Oliver dies as a camera falls from a helicopter, and into Oliver's eye. Groucho Marx vs. John Wayne Next is drama verses comedy, as John Wayne (a.k.a. The Duke) fights Groucho Marx, one of the most popular comedians of black & white movies; speaking of which, the fight was shown in black and white! At the beginning of the fight, John pounds Groucho around the arena, but then Harpo Marx steps into the arena, and Chico Marx into the announcer booth! Groucho kicks The Duke in the air, and the cowboy's head goes through Harpo's harp, slicing it like bread! The victor is Groucho Marx! Cameron Diaz vs. Meryl Streep The Main Event is who the lead female actor of this "movie" will be, Cameron Diaz or Meryl Streep? The fighters were supposed to act up the fight, and Cameron was supposed to kill Meryl, but Meryl takes her role "a little" too serious, and uses a microphone to impale Cameron, and winning the fight.
Cable DayEmeril Lagasse vs. The Two Fat LadiesLagasse and the Fat Ladies should make food for Mills, who will judge them. First Emeril makes finger sandwiches by cutting off one of the ladies' fingers, then the ladies makes leg-nogg, by putting Lagasse's foot in a mixer, then Lagasse makes kidney pie by slicing out one of the ladies' kidneys, finally the fat ladies makes a cooked Emeril, however since it would take five hours to cook, they already made an Emeril earlier... so he is cooked, and somehow, the Two Fat Ladies win. Matt Pinfield vs. Jesse Camp After a while, Mills thinks that Jesse is completly brain damaged, Mills steps in and breaks Jesse's neck... however Jesse just talked like he usually did... but Matt Pinfield wins. Alex Trebek vs. Pat Sajak Gameshow hosts fight: First they challenge each other in "Jeopardy", Trebek however, loses and is sent to the chamber of punishment, and he is crushed there. Then they play "Wheel of fortune", but Sajack isnt able to solve the word he should, and he is sliced up by the spinning wheel.
4th of July CelebrationBill Clinton vs. Kenneth StarrKen Star drags it out of Bill that he had an affair, but the audience stays completely on Bill's side (except for Hillary). Ken starts beating up the audience members, but they stop him, and Bill flings the lawyer into the Liberty Bill! Ken Star's head is ruined, and the Liberty Bell is cracked. Bill Clinton is the winner! James Van Der Beek vs. Saddam Hussein To finish off the terroist, James wraps him up in an American flag and then beats Hussein to death with the pole! Although Beek won, Mills arrests him for disrespect of the flag. Abe Lincoln vs. George Washington Both presidents have presidents for their 'coaches'. Abraham has Theodore Roosevelt, and George Washington has Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon is beheaded in the fight, yet his head keeps jabbering away! In the end, Abraham lights the fireworks with Lady Liberty's torch, and the fireworks blow up George! Then they decapitate Theodore and then the winner Abraham! All of the heads of the presidents land on a model Rushmore. The heads still talk and look, as the episode ends.
Family Night ICharlie Sheen vs. Emilio EstevezEric & Julia Roberts vs. Donny & Marie Osmond Bob & Jakob Dylan vs. Jerry & Ben Stiller
Censoring ProblemsTommy Lee vs. Ron JeremyThe first fight took place in the deathmatch basement since it was a cockfight (they were dressed as chickens)... it ends with Tommy Lee unzipping his pants, and impaling Ron Jeremy with... well you know what i mean, leaving only a big hole in Ron Jeremy's head. Alanis Morissette vs. Jewel When Jewel gets stuck in the floor by her lips, Alanis knocks down the big bag of money, which flattens Jewel, then Alanis uses the ladder to knock Jewel away, into the light rig, and explode. But after the second fight, Alanis strips down so she's completely naked... and this, and the nudity in the first fight, makes the people at the B.O.O.B (like some censors or something)very angry, and Nick and Johnny is sent to prison. The Three Stooges vs. The Three Tenors Note that Stacy and Mills commented this episode as Nick & Johnny was in prison. First, Moe tricks Domingo into the time machine, and he is sent many years into the future, and when he leaves, he is decayed... Then a disagreement between Larry and Moe makes Larry accidently impale Moe with a plunger stuck on his head. Larry walks into the time machine and accidently takes himself back to the time he was a sperm, so i have to say he's pretty dead. Next Curly makes a revered headbutt on Carreres. And finally Curly rips Pavarotti's face off.
Salute to LaughterDennis Miller vs. Carrot TopThe two battle with props from a treasure chest, and in the end, Dennis Miller shoves an air pump into Carrot Top's arse, inflates him and then turns him into an animal balloon. Dennis tires to make a joke, but no one gets it, and when Carrot Top insults him, he takes an sharp object and bursts his opponent all over the arena! Rodney Dangerfield vs. Don Rickles The two comeidans are famous for insults, and they fight with a giant grill in the middle of the arena, and a giant spatula. At first, Don is winning by shouting insults at Rodney, but after so many, his insults grow weak and he loses his strength. Dangerfield then takes over, and punches Rickles so hard that he knocks him to pieces all over the grill! Billy Crystal vs. Robin Williams vs. Whoopi Goldberg The fight is supposed to be a charity drive, like when Billy, Robin and Whoopi did 'Comedy Relief'. While Stacy and Mills answer the phones, the three fight! Williams rips off Crystal's head, but then Whoopi breaks Robin in half! The winners are, in short, Dennis Miller, Rodney Dangerfield, and Whoopi Goldberg.
The Laser PointerElton John vs. Ozzy OsbourneThe queen watches as Sir Elton John and Ozzy Osbourne battle. Near the end, Elton John stamps on Ozzy and everyone thinks he's dead. Then Elton attacks the queen so that he can have her crown and be queen (yes, queen). But then Ozzy recovers, and bites off Elton's head! It gets stuck in his throat, so the queen uses the hemlich to force Elton's head out and over the crowd! Martha Stewart vs. Sandra Bernhard The arena is nicely decorated arena, lit by candles as well as the overhead lights. Martha hot glues Sandra's head to the ground, shovels out Sandra's insides, and uses them to make Christmas ordaments! Tom Hanks vs. Sean Penn Hanks (who is portrayed in his famous long beard and hair from 'Cast Away') is Hollywood's Nice Guy, so he's too polite to fight back against tough guy Penn. Yet when Sean Penn beats up a reporter who takes their picture, Tom Hanks gets angry! He breaks Sean Penn's legs, then rips out his spine! The winners are Ozzy Osbourne, Martha Stewart, and Tom Hanks!
Robot NickyRicky Schroder vs. Gary ColemanRicky cant seem to remember Gary's name, this freaks him out, and he kicks away Ricky's legs, then torso, and finally head, leaving Gary Coleman as the winner. Lauryn Hill vs. Shania Twain Lauryn james the hose of a milking machine in Shania's face, and when she turns the milk machine on, it sucks Shania's brain out. Hugh Grant vs. All-comers [ Clint Eastwood, Harvey Keitel, & Andy Dick ] Hugh Grant steps into the ring, and his first challenger appears: Clint Eastwood. But Clint isnt so very powerful after all, he is knocked out of the ring, and Hugh jumps down on him, and Eastwood gets pulverized. Next came Harvey Keitel. He starts kicking Hugh Grant's ass, but Hugh shows Keitel his pale british chest, blinded by the gaze, Keitel is chanceless, and Hugh Grant launches him into the wall, and he is splashed. Finally, Andy Dick entered the ring, and rips Hugh Grant's heart out... but it turns out that he is a robot...
The ProphecyMost of the cast almost die in this episode: Nick is electrocuted by his microphone, Stone Cold gets in a fight with a moose, Mills almost spontaneously combusts, Johnny and Nick and Stone Cold sits in the tower when a plane crashes in it, Johnny's arm is cut off... but it was Stacy who died, after the third fight, she spontaneously combusts.Dennis Franz vs. Sammo Hung (In episode 215, Dennis and Sammo started arguing during the first fight, and it led to this fight, also Dennis Franz was in episode 202, during the Calista Flockhart vs Lucy Lawless fight) Mills doesnt like Dennis Franz for some reason. By the end, Sammo's legs have been broken, and one of his arms chewed off by himself to escape the handcloves, he rolls around in the arena, Dennis climbs the ropes, and jumps down on Sammo, crushing him. Steven Wright vs. Chris Tucker Slow vs Fast Steven rips out Chris' comic ability (some organ) and puts it in himself, so he becomes very fast, but he becomes too fast... just later, Chris Tucker rips out Steven's intestance, and Steven Wright dies. Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Winona Ryder Dome of devastation. The two girls fight in the dome, Winona is way superior, and she only suffers a few blows, then they climb out of the dome's top, and fight above. Winona knocks Gwyneth out, and opens the dome, then she holds Gwyneth half into the dome, and she shuts the dome again, cutting Gwyneth Paltrow in half. In The Memory Of Stacy CornbredCher vs. Bette MidlerBenito Mussolini vs. Roberto Benigni John Travolta vs. Nicolas Cage From The Streets Of New YorkIn this episode, the deathmatch cast interviews people in New York, about which fights they want to see. Here's the list:1. Rosie O'Donnell vs. Oprah Winfrey vs. Jerry Springer 2. Calista Flockhart vs. Lucy Lawless 3. Charles Manson vs. Marilyn Manson 4. Mariah Carey vs. Jim Carrey 5. Robert DeNiro vs. Al Pacino 6. Elvis Presley vs. Jerry Garcia 7. Gandhi vs. Genghis Khan 8. Madonna vs. Michael Jackson 9. Tommy Lee vs. Ron Jeremy All fights are of course clips, and no whole fight is shown.
Halloween Episode IThe first halloween episode, Mark Callaway guest stars as the undertaker, who helps commentating, and fights Captain Doody in fight #2.Frankenstein's Monster vs. The Wolfman Frankenstein's Monster vs. The Wolfman They fight for a while, the Wolfman bites off one of Frankenstein's arms, then he morphs back into a human. He talks to Mills that in fact, Frankenstein's monster is built up of dead body parts, so he's already dead, Mills declares the Wolfman as the winner, and he starts mocking Frankenstein's Monster, who gets pissed and breaks the Wolfman's skull. Frankenstein's Monster is the winner! Captain Doody vs. The Undertaker Captain Doody vs. The Undertaker Nicky jr was dressed as a devil in this episode, he got the idea from his friend "Captain Doody"... during and after the first fight, Nicky jr behaves strange, levitating, peeing, and more... Nick, Johnny and the Undertaker discover that he is possessed by Captain Doody, so the Undertaker takes the demon into the ring. After a while, Captain Doody tries to fool the Undertaker that Nicky isn't possessed, the Undertaker isn't fooled that easy and does a piledriver on Nicky jr, and Captain Doody leaves his body and possesses the popcorn guy, who runs off. The Undertaker is the winner! 'N Sync vs. Kiss It's Rock vs Pop in the main event: 'N Sync decided to have some costumes to compete with Kiss: J.C and Chris had a donkey suit, Lance was a hobo, Justin was a clown and Joey was a pirate. First Paul Stanley blows up J.C with a laser to make it a clean fight (four on four) Just a little later, Peter Criss tries to do a superfly on Chris, but slips and splits his skull open on the stairs leading into the arena. Next, Paul slices up Lance with his laser. Then Justin tries to attack Ace, but Ace grabs him, climbs the ropes and jumps down into the ring, smearing Justin on the floor, then Ace summons his magic guitar, and uses it to vaporize Justin. Next Joey is kicked in the groin by Ace, and then kicked out off the ring (he doesn't die though...). Then Gene tries to burn Chris, but Chris ducks and the fire burns Paul into a pile of ash. Next Chris ties Gene's tongue into Justin's balloons, and sends him flying away, but Ace slams his guitar into the floor, and a powerful beam is sent up, popping the balloons, so Gene falls down and crushes Chris. Kiss (Gene & Ace) is the winner! High Tech FightingRichard Simmons vs. Billy BlanksFirst up: two fitness trainers battle out with different styles. Richard Simmons makes two fat guys from the audience enter and they are about to kick Billy Blanks' ass, but Billy convince them to try Tai-Bo, and the guys really slim down, then they starts beating up Simmons instead, and finally Billy Blanks ties Richard Simmons up like a bow, and then Simmons' head explodes. Don King vs. Donald Trump Donald Trump jumps into Don King from above, and tears him up from inside. Brad Pitt vs. Keanu Reeves High-Tech action... Pitt and Reeves fought in a cyberspace world, but after Pitt got his ass kicked, he escaped and started beating Reeves in the real world. Then Reeves knocks Pitt into the machine, and he is electrocuted and flies into Reeves head, and kicks his brain to pieces, then the machine explodes so no one is the winner. Fandemonium IIBen Affleck vs. Matt DamonThey each had to build machines from a bag of parts, after a while Damon builds a meat slicer, Affleck asks him how it works, so Damon bends over to show how it works, but then Affleck kicks him into the machine, and he is sliced up. Ozzy Osbourne vs. Rob Zombie Ozzy rips out Rob's brain and turns him into a zombie, then he makes him do disgusting things, like licking Ozzy's feet clean, but then the zombie freaks out, and starts attacking Ozzy, but Ozzy throws the zombie's brain to the zombie, and he starts playing with it, and slam dunks it into the floor, which destroys the brain, and he dies. Marilyn Manson vs. Ricky Martin This was actually a musical number preformed by Marilyn Manson (Astonishing Panorama of the Endtimes), a while into the song, Ricky Martin jumps up on the stagem and starts kicking Marilyn's ass, then they start to fight, and Ricky runs towards Marilyn, who tries to grab his skeleton like he did with Charles Manson, but Ricky bites the hand off, but the hand transforms into some kinda freaky animal, and breaks out off Ricky's chest, killing him.
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