Season 1
Seinfeld's Last StandMonica Lewinski vs. Hillary ClintonThe two ladies fight for a while. Bill Clinton sits in the audience, cheering both ladies. He is interviewed by Stacy Cornbred and Bill calls for the peanut lady, however the line "Excuse me miss, would you mind grabbing my nuts" were misunderstood by everyone and Monica and Hillary decides to beat up Bill, who leaves, and the fight ends so. Mariah Carey vs. Jim Carrey Jim grabs Mariah in a chokehold, but she breaks through and starts singing a very high note, which blows up Jim Carrey's skull. Jerry Seinfeld vs. Tim Allen These guys fight as wusses, so everyone gets bored, and Jerry's co-stars from "Seinfeld" - Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Richards climbs into the ring and they decide to kick Jerry's ass. However they run out of time and the fight ends with all the fighters in a big pile.
Where is Stallone?Oprah Winfrey vs. Rosie O'DonnellOprah and Rosie fight for a while, but then Jerry Springer parachutes into the ring and knocks both ladies out. However the three of them decides to fight later... to be continued. Liam Gallagher vs. Noel Gallagher The fight is interrupted when the comedian Gallagher appears, jumps into the ring and smashes Liam's and Noel's heads, so both of them dies. Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Sylvester Stallone Arnold blows up Sylvester with a missile, but he melts and re-appears like the terminator, and then Arnold and Sylvester knocks each other out, Mills starts counting, and Arnold manages to stand up again, but Sylvester sweeps his leg on '9', stands up and Sylvester Stallone is declared the winner, although Arnold is still alive.
The Mystery of the Loch Ness MonsterLoch Ness Monster vs. BigfootThis was supposed to be the best fight ever, but The Loch Ness Monster quickly slices Bigfoot into half, and wins, however the audience gets really pissed and the Loch Ness Monster jumps out off the ring, grabs Fran Drescher who was in the audience, and then escapes from the arena... Stone Cold discovers that the Loch Ness Monster's mating call was as annoying as Fran Drescher's voice... so thats why the monster ran. Mick Jagger vs. Steven Tyler Mick Jagger impales Steven Tyler with his gigantic tongue. Jay Leno vs. David Letterman The fighters fight for a while in an arena sealed off with an electric fence, but then the Loch Ness Monster returns, and runs into the fence, and is blown up and crashes down on the fighters.
Celebrity Deathmatch Goes to the MoviesGene Siskel vs. Roger EbertGene and Roger was forced to fight with their thumbs tied together, Gene Siskel started spinning around, so Roger Ebert is spun around in the air, finally Gene breaks Roger's thumb off so Roger Ebert is sent flying into the announcer's booth, which collapses on him, but Nick accidently falls out of the tower, and falls into a coma... Jerry Lewis vs. Dean Martin Since Nick was in a coma, Johnny decided to show a clip, which was this fight. The fight ended with Jerry Lewis spilling one of Dean Martin's drinks, Dean gets pissed off and kicks Jerry out off the ring, and the fight ends so. Quentin Tarantino vs. Spike Lee Woody Allen guest refers this fight, but he just gets in the way of the fighters, finally he gets really pissed and knocks down Spike Lee (not killing him though), and then he rips out Quentin's intestance.
Nick in a ComaJohnny gets help from Jack Nicholson to comment the fights since Nick is in a coma. In the end of the episode, Leonardo DiCaprio appears and challenges Jack Nicholson for a fight.Janeane Garofalo vs. Cindy Crawford Cindy and Janeane made a bet just before the fight - If Cindy won, Janeane had to lose 50 pounds. If Janeane won, Cindy had to gain 50 pounds. After a while in the fight, Cindy grabs Janeane by her hair and spins her around, finally she lets go, and Janeane flies into the ropes, bounces back and knocks out Cindy, both of the fighters are disqualified, and they both lost the bet, so Janeane has to lose 50 pounds, and Cindy has to gain 50 punds... the results aren't too pretty. Elvis Presley vs. Jerry Garcia This was a dream Nick had after being injected with loads of morphine at the hospital. Elvis and Jerry meet in a dream world, they are judged by Jimmy Hendrix. They fight for a while and by the end, they just end up standing and punching each other... Rosie O'Donnell vs. Oprah Winfrey vs. Jerry Springer This episode was the first ever in the Dome of Devastation. First Jerry made Rosie and Oprah fight each other by saying that Rosie had a relationship with Oprah's boyfriend, however Rosie and Oprah soon realised that Jerry was lying, and they teamed up, and tore Jerry in half. Now the ladies was friends, but Mills said that only one person could leave the dome, so Oprah pushed Rosie through the dome's wall, slicing her, and Oprah is the winner.
Nick ReturnsFiona Apple vs. John PopperFiona tries to attack John several times, but she just ends up breaking both her legs and her arms, finally she bits him in the leg, and climbs on top of him and tries to give a speech to the audience, who gets pissed, so they cheer on John, and he rolls over Fiona, flattening her. Christopher Walken vs. Gary Oldman Christopher was very careful not to mess up his hair, but when Gary touches it, Christopher gets pissed and breaks Gary's head between his hands. (Nick returns after this fight) Garth Brooks vs. Marilyn Manson Garth hypnotizes Marilyn and starts punching him, but Marilyn snaps out off the coma, and grabs Garth's guitar, they both fight over it, Marilyn lets go, and the guitar knocks the top of Garth Brooks head off, Marilyn Manson is the winner! also, the Hanson brothers appears and tries to saw down the lighting rig the same way Marilyn killed the Spice Girls and Hanson during the deathbowl 98, but they end up hacked up by the chainsaw (little Zac was a little unsteady)
Presented by Big Bull BeerAretha Franklin vs. Barbra StreisandAretha and Barbra fought for the title of The World's Deadliest Diva. They had to use medieval weaponry like swords, catapults, axes and such. They fought evenly for a while, until Barbra shoots off one of Aretha's arms with a catapult, a photographer takes a photo of Barbra and she gets distracted and starts yelling at the guy... Aretha sees her chance and throws a plague diseased rat into a water bucket, Barbra drinks it and melts away. Bill Gates vs. Michael Flatley This fight was sort of a mystery since the fighters didnt have any argues with each other, it turned out to be a computer error that led to the fight. Michael had the upper hand for a while, hypnotizing Bill with a dance and such until Bill Gates brought in a robot, that started to kick Michael's ass, and finally the robot threw Michael Flatley so hard onto the floor that he was torn apart. Bill Gates is happy about winning, but the robot malfunctions and turns on its former owner and Bill is torn apart by the robot. Jack Nicholson vs. Leonardo DiCaprio Jack and Leo fight evenly for a while, Jack however has the upper hand and destroys much of Leo's face, finally Leo manages to knock down Jack and triumphing he climbs the turnbuckle to do his "King of the world" scene, but Jack raises again and walks over, grabs Leo by the neck and smashes his head into the turnbuckle, then the girls in the audience gets pissed that Leo lost and a riot is formed... the episode ends so.
The Missing GirlPuff Daddy vs. Trent ReznorI wouldn't say that any of the fighters lost, because first, Puff Daddy threw som old records which tore Trent Reznor apart, but Trent shot his nine inch nails from his hands, and this tore Puff Daddy apart, but Mills puzzled both fighters together again, well, he made some mistakes, so they got two mixed fighters (like Puff Daddy's arm, Trent Reznor's leg and so on) David Hasselhoff vs. John Tesh John Tesh unfolded an umbrella inside David Hasselhoff's mouth, Hasselhoff pulled the umbrella out, but it ripped his face off. However Hasselhoff got some help from the car from Knight Rider, and it jumps into the arena and crushes John Tesh. But appearantly, John Tesh didn't die, he appears in several episodes later. Bruce Willis & Demi Moore vs. Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman After the four fighters climbed each others backs to form a giant totem, and they all fell down, a teddybear falls from the ceiling and it lands on Bruce Willis' head, and they discover that a little girl is dangling from a light rig way above the stage. Bruce and Tom rushes to save the girl, but they end up fighting, and the little girl falls down, and lands on them. When Tom and Bruce argue over who saved the girl, Stone Cold steps between and slam the two mens' heads together, and then Stone Cold leaves with Demi and Nicole.
Fandemonium IVince McMahon vs. Stone ColdSteve Austin Stone Cold used a tombstone to smash Vince McMahon unconcsious, then he smashed his body into pieces, put the pieces into a coffin, and dragged it out of the arena. Chris Rock vs. Adam Sandler The two fighters were first unwanting to fight and pretended to lose etc. until Mills started "the fan of fandemonium", which was a giantic fan that lowered above the arena until they were sliced up. So Adam and Chris started fighting and it ended with Chris lifting up Adam and throwing him on the switch to the fan, electrocuting Adam Sandler, but also unabled the fan to be turned off, so the fan sliced up Chris Rock and no one was the winner. Jenny McCarthy vs. Carmen Electra Howard Stern guest commentated this fight, but he was rude to the girls and they were pissed at him, he tried to fart them to death (like he did with Kathie Lee in 100), but his ass was jammed with mud. Then Carmen ran away from him, scared that he would explode, but Jenny kicked Howard Stern's ass so he flew away, grabbing Carmen, and crushed her against the wall.
Battle of the BullsDavid Spade vs. Steven SeagalSteven Seagal is was superior to David at first, and he beats him up real good, but then he throws David out of the ring. The waistband in David Spade's pants breaks, and David borrows a Superbowl ring from Scottie Pippen who watched the fight, David uses the ring and the waistband as a slingshot, and shoots the ring through Steven Seagal's head. Prince Charles vs. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince The Prince and the Artist fight for a while, then Queen Elizabeth throws her crown into the ring, and it hits the Artist in his arm, then the Prince knights the Artist with a blow to the head, that actually knocks the head into the Artist's body. The Prince formerly known as Charles is the winner. Michael Jordan vs. Dennis Rodman Michael Jordan grabs a basket ball and jams it into Rodman's mouth, then he bounces Rodman around, and finally he makes a big jump, and slams Rodman into a litter box.
37th Annual Sci-Fi Fight NightCeline Dion vs. Keith FlintIt began with Celine Dion singing the national anthem, but Keith Flint suddenly stormed in and knocked down Celine with a chair, however she recovered fast, and after some kicks and punches, she rips Keith's head off and swallows it, after that she reveals that she is actually an alien, then she possesses the body of Don King. Nick Diamond vs. The Alien After the first fight, there was a short "Celebrity Deathmatch Mega Mix", showing clips from previous fights, then there would be a Sci Fi Q/A featuring Peter Mattheu and Mark Hamill. An audience member asked Peter is he could do the "Chewie grunt" from Star Wars, Peter improvises and makes a noise, and then the alien (Celine Dion) gets really pissed and jumps into the arena and kills both Peter and Mark. After that, Nick climbs down into the arena and kicks the Alien's ass, finally he break the alien's eye and plunge out its brain (The alien survived however) David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson vs. Will Smith & Tommy Lee Jones This was the only planned fight for the episode, it ended up with Will Smith about to blast David and Gillian away, but he held the weapon the wrong way and thus, he blew up himself and Tommy, so the X-files members win.
Masters of the Martial Arts
It's the season's ending episode!
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